Pokemon: Masters In Disguise
by ManekiKitsune
Summary: I'm hungry.
1. I'm hungry

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Ash or any other Pokemon characters. That's like, totally Nintendo and Satoshi Tajiri junk. But in a way, I'm glad I don't own the show. In yo face, 4kids.  
  
Author's comments: Dude, okay, to avoid a lot of flames and crap about how "omg pokemon r the r0xx0r adn u sukc stoopud no1 lieks u adn i bte u r signel".. I wanna say. Yes. Pokemon is cool. Ahead of its time, sure, whatever. (I better not get any "pokemon sux u r stoopud" flames.) The show is what sucks. Dubbing is very bad, I'm sorry. But if you saw it in Japanese, with or without subtitles, it's like seeing a whole new show. And a good one, at that. So don't send any flames about that. OR LOVE NOTES. OH GOD.  
  
"omg peekachoo u cna wni jsut beet taht unbeeleeuvablee hgue pokeemon ovru tehre k???//??/??" Ash yelled to his poor, battered, and sickeningly cute electric pokemon.  
  
"PEEKACHOO!!!!11" Was the mouses' confirmation to Ash's request.  
  
"Dude. This isn't some just, HUGE POKEMON. This is like, ya know, a Groudon?" shouted the challenger to the incredibly unknowing mistake of trainer.  
  
"oic k" said Ash. "PEEKACOHU YOOZ UR EELTKRIX ATAX HAHAHAH"  
  
Pikachu used thundershock, and Groudon, being a ground pokemon, (and being, ya know, fancy lookin) didn't even feel the attack.  
  
"PEEKACHOO U ALMTSO GTO HMI!!!11!!11!" Ash screamed at the rat thing.  
  
Groudon just stepped on Pikachu. I don't mean, "GROUDON USED THE ULTIMATE COOL ALL MIGHTY STOMP ON THE INTIMIDATING ELECTRIC RAT!" I mean, he just.. Stepped on it. And the way he did it so awkwardly, it sure seemed like a mistake.  
  
Pikachu was out of the game. Ash failed to realize such a thing.  
  
You could tell he didn't. He kept yelling at it to use thundershock, long after the other trainer had gone, long after it was known that Pikachu was not going to move.  
  
Misty seemed worried. "omg ahs i tihnk peekachoo iz liek, ded." Ash was hurt. "OMFG STEP OF BICH I NO WAT I MEEN K??/??/???/?? MEI RTA IZ FIYN!!!111"  
  
Tears welled up in her eyes, and she ran to.. Uh.. Go do whatever it is she does as a frightening co-star.  
  
Brock ran up to Ash, and began to yell at him. "OMG U R TEH RELLI BDA PKEMON TRAYNUR K U ALMSTO KILED UR STOOPUD PEEKACHOO K U R SUKC!!!!11"  
  
Ash was put down by this statement, and shot back. "omfg u r maen u mkae mei crie u sukc mna.!!11!11!!!!11!" as he ran off into the bushes, sobbing into his poorly made vest.  
  
Pikachu, of course, was glad. It ran off into the woods to join its fellow rat things.  
  
Ash sobbed quietly, in a bad voice acting kind of way, wondering what he would do as a trainer, considering he just lost to a stupid red.. THING.  
  
"omg it wuz jsut stoopud and rde hwo ddi i lsoe?//??//???/????/" "becos u sukc" said some dude.  
  
Gary, somehow, popped in. Hey. This is my fanfic. I can do whatever I please.  
  
"45|-|, '/0|_|'|23 4|\| ||)|07, 4|\||) '/0|_| 41\/\/4'/5 \/\/|11 83." Gary added.  
  
Ash didn't know how he spoke in numbers and lines, and neither do I. But he got the message quite clear. Ash sucked. And this would never change. At least not as long as he thought he looked badass in that crappy hat.  
  
Gary kicked Ash in the shins.  
  
This struck everyone everywhere as funny.  
  
(Insert Laugh Track here.)  
  
Ash ran off crying, to continue his quest with no friends, and much better pokemon than a Pikachu.  
  
But being a sentimental idiot, Ash didn't know they were better. Hell, he could have a Mewtwo and think Pikachu was better.  
  
His brain was the size of a peanut.  
  
And his IQ was even smaller.  
  
&$%$#%^$&^(&)(&(*^*&(%&^%%^#%$@$*&^)(^*^)&%&^$^%#%$@#@%$&**  
  
Gotta love my stories. 


	2. I'm still hungry

Chapter two: I'm still hungry.  
  
Ash found himself waking to a bunch of leaves and twigs, for apparently, he had fallen asleep in the surrounding shrubs.  
  
"omg i fele wsated hahhahahahaha I r klevr.."  
  
Some guy who carried rocks walked past. He kicked Ash. Ash was still there. This made him mad. So he kicked him again.  
  
Today just not be the guys' day. Lately, he has kicked eighty seven people, and they just won't disappear. He ran off in frustration.  
  
Ash musta fallen asleep on something that was like, pointy or something, because he was all, "ow".  
  
Then all of a sudden, these two old people with a talking Meowth were like "omg gvie us peekachoo adn no we r nto teem rockit k???//??//?" Ash was convinced this old couple could use a good look at such a sickeningly cute rat, but he held back tears when he remembered. "peekachoo iz liek, ded." He said, trying to sound emotionless.  
  
"omfg krap" said the long, purple haired old lady who looked suspiciously enough like Jessie from team rocket. Ash, being far too oblivious to the real world to notice this, just nodded. "wtf wil we du Jaymz we r liek skrewd we bluit owr hole kureer on trieing 2 cach taht stoopud rta nwo wtf hapenz???//??//?" The old man, who looked.. Somewhat like the other member of team rocket nodded, and added "we r skewd. fays it." "ya i no" said Meowth, the neglected and ball loving pokemon. (Please try not to take that the wrong way, though I am sure you will. And are. And.. You guys are sick.)  
  
"o btw we r teem rockit!!11!!11!11" said a random member, no one was quite sure who, since their voice acting kind of sounds similar, except Meowth sounds like he's from New York or somethin'. "omg omg omg" Ash said in surprise.  
  
But Team Rocket, after repeating their clichéd motto, got really bored staring at a sobbing pre-teen. So they kinda.. Just walked away.  
  
Ash was hurt. His best Pokemon, his best friends, and now his worst enemies had left him.  
  
Maybe Gary was right. "i r sukc!!!1!!11!" said Ash aloud, in complete defeat.  
  
Then some awesome Canadian dude called Kamek came and kicked his ass.  
  
The world applauded for Kamek, and he was loved forever, gaining many affectionate nicknames, like Cakemix, Kmart, WebCaemek, Jaemk, and oh so many more.  
  
(*&^*&%%$%^#$%@*&*(*(&)_()&*(^&*%&%#$^@#^%(*^(^()%&#$%@&^&  
  
Cakemix, we wub u adn ur fotoshpo skilz 4evr!!11!!1!! 


	3. I could seriously use some food

Chapter three: I could seriously use some food.  
  
Ash, totally unaware of the fact that he should have been mugged by now, kept walking down the streets of the slums of.. Uh.. Celadon city. With all those dudes who lose at the game corner.. Thing.  
  
So he got wasted. On some of dat Pokechow, and crap.  
  
Washed up and stupid, Ash decided to get a job carving shapes into pieces of chalk.  
  
He is currently very good at making logs, and sticks, and pencils.  
  
And.. Uh.. Mini-chalk.  
  
He plans to patent chalk-dust and use it as a type of glue.  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&The end.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 


End file.
